Monday, April 7, 2014

RIOT!!! (that's just a title, not a command or suggestion)

Crank up the Ramones, it’s gonna get feisty in here. 

Recently, and at such time as I should have addressed the issue before now but I had a baby so get off my back, there was a riot.  I call it that because I’m using a term of the common vernacular.  News agencies called it a “riot” and so that’s what I’m calling it.  At least for now, before we get a legitimate legal definition of the conduct.  On the night of March 22, 2014 a large group of individuals – who appear in videos to be mostly if not all black teenagers – took to the streets of downtown Louisville.  Videos have emerged of the incident.  From at least one gas station, we can see (a slightly more polite?) looting was taking place.  A video of a downtown business shows kids jumping on cars in a parking lot.  There are reports of a rowdy incident at White Castle, and some spotty violence (a 13 year old girl was assaulted and robbed, as was a 61 year old man).  A total of about 17 incidents were reported.

I don’t know if the conduct was racially motivated or not.  People seem to be assuming it was.  At this point I’m not sure if the victims were white individuals or if they were minorities.  The news agencies I’ve seen aren’t reporting that information.

One person out of the approximate 200 was arrested.

In other, more timely news, the University of Kentucky won their final 4 game against Wisconsin.  So they’ll be playing in the National Championship game tonight.  The forecast in Lexington calls for a 105% chance of flaming couches.  Whether they win or lose, people in Lexington will take to the streets.  The riot will just be a little “nicer” if they win.

I have several close friends in the Lexington area and at this point I would like to offer them some free legal advice because I am such a sweetheart. 

Hey Ho Let’s Go talk about riots and how much trouble you can get in for engaging in such tomfoolery.

According to the KRS, "Riot" means a public disturbance involving an assemblage of five (5) or more persons which by tumultuous and violent conduct creates grave danger of damage or injury to property or persons or substantially obstructs law enforcement or other government function. 

By the KRS definition, the conduct in Louisville from the March “riot” would certainly qualify as Riot.  And depending on whether the tumultuous conduct in Lexington tonight causes property damage (it will) there may be an actual Riot in Lexington tonight (there will).  With that in mind, let’s take a look at how much prison time Riot carries.

(1) A person is guilty of riot in the first degree when:
(a) He knowingly participates in a riot; and
(b) In the course of and as a result of such riot a person other than one (1) of the participants suffers physical injury or substantial property damage occurs.
(2) Riot in the first degree is a Class D felony.

In this beautiful Bluegrass State, a Class D felony means that the perpetrator is facing 1-5 years in prison. 

So try to keep it safe out there.  Be careful and wear a condom.

Wait…that’s probably not going to help you in the riot.

Anyway – happy Blitzkrieg Bopping.


Greg Simms

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